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  • sarah01526

Letting Go

I began this play session three weeks shy of taking our first son to college. I wasn't really sure what I was doing, and when I began the session thoughts of our son were not even in the forefront of my thoughts.


When I entered the playroom, the playmobile doctor's office had been left in disarray. Order is comforting to me so I began to ressemble and tidy up the toy building . Rather than play, I chose to clean because it felt better tidied up. Isn't that the way life is. It's just so much more comfortable when things are straight rather than crooked.


With things set right, I got to the business of play. I started to beat on the bongos and move to the rhythm. As I played, I discovered so many different ways to play: hit them, tap them, click them with my fingernails, rub the tops with the palms of my hands....


While enjoying the variety, I started to hear ocean noises coming from the instrument. I closed my eyes and traveled back to the summer of my senior year. I was sitting on a dock somewhere in the Thousand Islands beholding God's glory. I remember the awesomeness of it taking my breath away to the point of surrender. I promised "whatever you want, God, whatever you want. Your will be done." As I recalled that amazing experience, thoughts drifted to our son and my dreams and desires for him.


I started to paint. I wanted to capture the inspiration and awe in the sunset that I felt in my heart. I wanted our son to have that same experience. As I painted, I listend to "My Wish" by Rascal Flatt and thought about all the hopes a parent has for thier child and how our Father in heaven has even greater plans for us. A prayer came to mind, "Father, you have such great plans for us and you can deliver!"


After listening to "My Wish", "I I Hope you Dance" came on. These words ministered to my soul. These words were the very hopes I have for our son, that he "still feels small when he stands beside the ocean" and that he gives "faith a fighting chance." And above all, I hope he choses to dance with God.


The song gave me a vision of dancing with Jesus and then I had a really good cry. It was a sweet release both physically and mentally that I didn't even know I needed so much. I visualized placing our son into God's immense hands and promised to keep putting him there when threatened to hold him tight. God has the best hopes and plans for him, and He can deliver!


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

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