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More Jesus, Less Batman

Me: Ugh! today is a low energy day! I don't feel good; I don't really want to feel good.

It was one of "those" days where I find something wrong with everything, especially myself. I become very critical of self on those days. This is the way the play session started:

Me: What are we going to do? This is silly. You can't play games with me.

God: No, but you can do lots of other things. You're focusing on what you don't have. Focus on what you do have.

Me: (Deep breath, Sigh, Softening a little)

I began to look around the playroom and started to criticize the toys. Again, this voice reminded me to "enjoy what is, not what isn't." I started to play the xylophone and enjoy the different tones. It was funs to play different rhythms. I thanked God for the toys and all the joy it brought children. The xylophone is a favored instrument in the playroom.

After playing with the xylophone, I experimented with the tamborine. I immediately compared it to the xylophone and decided it wasn't pleasant. And then the voice, "Wait. Focus on what it is without judgement." I started to observe it mindfully and shake it closer to my ear. The sound changed to a musical jingle. Hmmm. Interesting. I'm glad I didn't miss the music it had to offer because of my critical nature.

From music, I moved to the veterinarian kit. I decided to just enjoy the stuffed animals, not fix them, not today. There seemed to be a theme emerging to appreciate rather than correct. Softening more.

I moved towards the trucks and cars. These had caught my eye at the beginning of the session, but I chose not to play with them because I told myself it was silly. Now, I was in the mood to embrace a bit of silly.

I played with the scooter first. "Whee!" Then I looked at the other cars.

Me: Ok, God. What are we doing with these today.

God: In here, you decide. :)

I began to take all of the cars and trucks out of the bucket and observe them one by one. I chose the four wheeler to play with first, rolling it back and forth with "Vroom, Vroom" for sound effects. Sound effects make everything more fun.

Playing with the cars took me back to my childhood and taking four wheeler rides with my Uncle. He would always go super fast, but it was ok because we were safe with him and free to enjoy the ride. I decided this four wheeler represented my childhood self, the free and innocent part of me. This got me to thinking about other internal parts of myself.

I started to look for my critical part. "When did this part become so pronounced?" I wondered and what car or truck would best represent it? I chose a Batman car, tough, fast, sleek!

And, what about the inferior part of me? A skateboard would do well, just four wheels and a board. It can't even move itself.

I found an airplane next, and as I flew it around in the sky, up, down, all around, I decided this was the professional part of me. I gave it some turbulance because that was what I was feeling internally. Then I reminded myself that turbulance doesn't last forever so I gave the plane an airstream and let it cruise. "This too shall pass."

The next vehicle I was drawn to was an old pick-up truck. I imagined that this is what Jesus would drive. It had a big bed in the back that could hold lots of people and fruits and veggies. I just pictured him driving around with his disciples in the back, carrying fruits and veggies to people, smiling, singing, bringing joy and compassion to others.

While thinking about all these different parts and Jesus, I was reminded that I was in a play session. So, I picked up the Batman car and moved it quickly through the sand, zooming around and racing. It was in the racing that I realized I was going so fast I didn't notice the other cars and trucks or even their plight in life. "My critical spirit rolls right over people, including my self." OOOhhh! Light bulb moment....

The Jesus truck goes slower and just seems like a better fit. More Jesus. Less Batman!

One may be sleeker, faster, more impressive on the outside, but the other is gentler, humbler and a much more peaceful, joyous ride.

Jesus said to the crowds: "Come to me all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble in hear; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light." Matthew 11: 28-30

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